Do you dread Mother’s Day each year because you’re a single mom with children too young to plan the festivities on their own?
Do you feel trapped between having no celebration at all or the awkward situation of throwing your own party and helping little ones to make your own gift?
For many single mothers, celebrating Mother’s Day means having no one to help the children make the day special. It’s a difficult day for many, but it doesn’t need to be this way. As is often the case when we’re unhappy, the problem is created in our own mind because we want something we don’t have. We don’t have a spouse or partner to take on the role of teaching the kids the meaning of Mother’s Day, about honoring you, or to help them plan the celebration, but the day can be made meaningful in other ways.
Adjust Your Expectations
Think about what you expect Mother’s Day to be and why? How did you celebrate with your mom as a child? Are you expecting the same? Are you comparing yourself to others around you or paying too much attention to media which portrays the ‘perfect’ family celebration?
Do you anticipate one thing, get another, and then feel disappointed? Learn to recognize this type thinking and shut it down. Plan something fun to do with your kids, enjoy spending time with them, and remember, there is no right way to celebrate. Focus on starting your own traditions.
Ask Friends to Help
There are many other single moms in your exact same situation. Why not join forces. Agree to swap kids for an afternoon and take them shopping or help them make something for mom. You may also want to plan to spend Mother’s Day together as a group.
Teach by Example
How can we teach our kids about Mother’s Day without having that odd feeling that we’re tooting our own horn or begging for a gift?
Why not spend the day with your own mother instead and teach by example. Use the days prior to Mother’s Day to plan, being sure to include your kids. Use the time as a teachable moment to talk about what Mother’s Day is and why we honor our parents. It’s also a good time to pass down stories of your own childhood and what your mother means to you.
Throw Your Own Party
Why not? I don’t believe in suffering in silence and feeling forgotten. Not when I can throw my own party instead… where I’m guaranteed to get exactly what I want.
When my kids were younger and I was still married I often had to make my own Mother’s Day plans. The ex-hubby was foreign born and was not raised to celebrate Mother’s Day. He also traveled a lot was not always around. We lived far from family and friends so I seldom had anyone I could call on to help celebrate the day.
Instead load up the kids to go out to eat… and not to Taco Bell. Treat yourself. Your choice, of course, since it’s your day. On the way home, stop and grab flowers for the table. Even if it’s only a $3.95 bouquet of carnations. They brighten the room and make the day feel special.
Mother’s Day is a celebration of what it means to be a mother. Don’t wait for someone else to take over for you. Have a great day. You deserve it.
Leave a comment and let me know how you deal with celebrating Mother’s Day as a single mom.
